Aug 16, 2017
We all, at one point or another, become so focused on reaching a specific outcome that we try hard to control how it happens. Let’s say that some unforeseen expenses come up and you need to enroll two new clients into your business to make sure things stay running smoothly. You drill the idea into your head that you need to get these clients and it has to happen this month. Otherwise, you might not be in a good place.
There’s nothing wrong with being laser focused on a goal, but when you start to attach a particular potential outcome and what it means if you achieve it or not, things can get a little messy. Since you’re so focused on getting these new clients, you start to freak out. Maybe you had two sales calls, and neither one of them converted.
After taking a look at your calendar, you realize that you have no new sales calls lined up. Do you keep going over your projected income for the month and thinking, what am I going to do? Where am I going to get these clients?
If you have been in business for any period of time, you know exactly what this freakout moment feels like - you’re on this downward spiral.
You’re focused on achieving your goal, but you’re in a panic. Let’s say that you book two new sales calls. I want you to stop for a second and ask yourself how you’re going to behave when you get on these calls. Are you going to be uplifting and bright, listening to your potential client and being there to serve them? Or is it possible that you might come with expectations of how you hope this call will go?
Here’s what happens when you initially get on the sales call. Your energy is heavy, and the vibe is not high because you’re only focusing on one thing - conversion. It’s not about them, why they’re talking to you, or even if they’re a good fit for you; it’s about reaching that goal because you’re focused on that particular outcome over anything else. Your preference of who you like to work with or how you like to work with them will go right out the window.
The person you’re talking to will start to feel that weird, desperate energy coming from you, and even if they’re a good fit, that feeling will most likely push them away.
When you are so focused on a situation rolling out in a way that is in your favor, you’re putting a lot of pressure on yourself to perform. There’s a problem with this because your expectation changes your energy, and a lot of self-worth issues tend to come up when that’s happening. It’s very likely that at this moment you’ll think if this person doesn’t convert that you’re a failure.
The key here is that you are so attached to a specific outcome that it’s starting to become blinding and affecting everything around you. When you try to control how you are going to achieve a goal, you may be creating a toxic environment that will hold you back. There’s a time where you have to surrender and let the universe do its work.
Increase your vibe, make sure your energy is high, and stay in a state of abundance.
When you are so laser focused on controlling the outcome of a situation, you are putting yourself in a lack mentality. First, you’re addressing the fact that your self-worth is going to drop, and it’s probably already low at this point. Second, you’re telling yourself that no one else is ever going to come to you and that everything weighs on whether you succeed with one or two particular people. That’s a lot of pressure to put on yourself.
You’re telling the universe that it is scarce, not abundant. This person has to convert; otherwise, no one else is going to convert again. You are openly saying that you don't trust the universe to do its job in providing for you and supporting you in creating the life you desire. On the other hand, your potential client is going to feel that as well. Even if they were to say yes potentially, they might say no because of how desperate you come off to them from that inherent lack of energy.
When you start stepping into detachment from the outcome, you can allow the universe to do its job.
Detachment happens when you put your trust into everything working out, and you tell yourself that you will be fine regardless. Whether this person converts or not, more people are going to come to you. You are going to convert those two individuals, whether it’s today, next week, or next month. You’re going to make something happen because you’re saying that you won’t stop until you do.
If you still aren’t at the goal that you want to be at, keep going until you reach that level. Keep going and going until you’re there, and don’t put all of your expectations into one action. You can’t control whether someone signs up or buys something from you, but you can support it. You can get the message out there in front of people more frequently, but you can’t control how that person behaves.
Sometimes it’s just not the right fit, and you need to trust the universe if this person isn’t a good fit to work with you.
Even if they are, but they say no, you have to trust that the next person might be. The universe will bring you more people if you stay in that vibe. Just show up and be yourself, be confident in your goal, and keep doing what you can to reach it. Don’t set yourself up for failure or a let down by attaching yourself to only one outcome.
Often we tend to take things personally and assume that if we don’t succeed in a specific way that it’s somehow a reflection of our self-worth. This is completely incorrect. The more you practice this concept of detachment, the more successful and better off you’ll be. Trust the process, trust the universe, let go of the attachment to any particular outcome, and remember to believe in yourself.